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I started to see what it really meant to be in an interracial relationship. Sometimes white girls hid me from their family, especially their father.

That was normal. I had one girlfriend in high school who strictly forbade doorbell ringing. I'd let her know when I'd be outside. She was not going to go through the trouble of calling attention to the fact that she was going out with a black guy.

I can't say that my own mother has never asked, "When are you going to bring home a girl who looks like me? To me, it was simple.

The girls who showed me the most attention at school were white. The world made it complicated and assumed I had an ulterior motive, and it sucks, but I understand why.

There are self-hating black men who date white women for contrived and pathetic reasons and I hate them.

They're so upfront about their exclusive attraction to white women and they'll give you a list of reasons why. It is deliberate for them. They smugly go out of their way to put down black women based on stereotypical notions about their attitude, or hair, or something equally stupid and it's corny and disgusting.

That's one of the issues with interracial dating. Any time a black man walks around with a white woman he's giving off the impression that white women are his specific preference and that he has a problem with women of his own race, and because that applies to some black men who date white women, it becomes a label that all of us are subjected to.

It's nothing to walk past a random black woman on the street and get a death glare and maybe even overhear something like, "They're taking all of our men.

Shit is crazy out here. I promise. I totally get where black women are coming from, too. Truth be told, it's important to me that they also get where I'm coming from and know that I'm not one of these sellouts who views them as undesirable.

But because I know I'm not one of those sellouts, I feel no guilt about dating white women. If anything, I just hate that there's such a vast misconception about my intentions from people who don't even know me.

I've been with many black women. But I don't feel obligated to be with them. A lot of white women have been extremely accepting of and loving towards me my entire life and that's all there is to it.

Though this very article was written in an attempt to bring context to these consistently misunderstood relationships, I don't have to explain who I date to anyone.

The reason why I do anything is because I want to. I never really think about race while dating unless somebody else makes it an issue or I notice that the way a white woman I'm with looks at something is flawed because of her upbringing.

But that's not a dealbreaker. I view it as an opportunity to educate and eradicate even a small amount of ignorance. If I explain some racially complex subtlety of life to my white girlfriend, that's one more white person who knows why using "ghetto" as a pejorative is cringeworthy and offensive.

That's one more white person who knows why I'm going to arrogantly list off my academic and professional achievements if some white person asks me if I play basketball.

And I do play basketball. But don't assume that that's how the fuck I got by in life because I'm black and tall.

And I'm going to go off if you say some dumb shit like that to me. But outside of those situations, I'm not thinking about race like that. I've always just dated women who made sense for me.

I've never gone into it thinking, she should be white. The thing is, I have to consider that while I've hooked up with women of other races, just about all of my girlfriends in life, since I was 13, have been white.

What does that even mean? Am I secretly one of those black guys who thinks white women are better and hotter and I'm just not ignorant enough to admit it?

I've never gone out of my way to reject black women; I just have way higher success rates with white women.

I went to a black high school and I wasn't on any of that thug shit and I'm not saying all black women want thugs, but at my high school, a lot of them did and they didn't really care about me.

And that's fine. I wasn't like, "Oh my God, black women don't want me," because I'm not entitled to any woman. But there were white girls at school who were fucking with me and that's who I went with.

Still, I can't help but wonder if I've been brainwashed by the Eurocentric beauty standards that dominate the world. I've had varying degrees of romance with women of most races—beyond the black and white binary.

Personality is always decisive, but we know that physical attraction is important. I'm very honestly and legitimately attracted to the features of black women, and Latina women, and Asian women, and Indian women, and any other type of woman, but I definitely like the straight, light hair and fair skin and colored eyes you get with a lot of white women.

It's not like I think that type of beauty is superior, but motherfuckers try to make you feel guilty for being attracted to those types of features at all.

Let's be real, blonde hair and blue eyes are fucking attractive and thinking that doesn't mean you're a piece of shit who gives those features inherent value over the features of other races.

Rihanna is hot and so is Blake Lively. Lupita N'yongo is hot and so is Allison Williams. Sue me for not allowing my race to limit what I find attractive.

Maybe knowing how much a diverse range of attraction upsets people is part of the appeal of interracial dating. No matter how much more commonplace relationships between black men and white women become, the historical context always gives them a rebellious, taboo component that, honestly, kind of adds to the fun and excitement.

Interracial marriages weren't even legal in every state 50 years ago. I've never gone into an interracial relationship outright trying to rebel against anything, but I've always enjoyed making people uncomfortable because ignorant, close-minded fucks need to have new ways of thinking shoved in their faces so they understand that they're wrong and shit is different now.

White women are sadly some type of trophy and marker of success, and that's a huge fucking problem. As a black man, it invalidates the authenticity of any relationships I have with white women.

It's depressingly superficial and it's dangerous. This ideal is why Elliot Rodger felt he had a right to start shooting—because he couldn't get a white woman to go with his BMW.

That said, I understand where the ideal comes from. Whites are privileged in this society and having what they have serves as validation for a lot of people.

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